To Stretch and Re-Group

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

I have been looking fear in the eyes for a few years now. Nursing school: Check. Marathon: Check. Marriage: Check. 

Move. That is the one thing which scares me beyond reason. I invision myself lonely and sad, and far from everything, and everyone I love. One problem. I have been dreaming to going back to midwifery school lately. In canada, there are no master’s of nursing programs which include this. Midwifery is offered in a 4-year bachelors of midwifery program. In the states, Seattle specifically, midwifery is offered in master’s programs. The program I am interested is comprised of a 2 year nurse practitioner master’s degree and then a 2 year residency which can be completed in the location of your choosing in which you specialize in your desired field. In the end I would have my masters in nursing as a nurse practitioner and midwife. 

The fear of uprooting our home, and moving to another country is crippling. So crippling in fact, that I am not even sure it is something I am willing to do. Thankfully, my husband is in school for the next two years here, so I do have time to think. He is 100% supportive of whatever I decide. He has always been one to support my dreams. This is where my brain is these day. Decisions. 

On another note. To deal with my craziness self-inflicted stress, I have pulled out an old friend, AM Yoga. I disliked this DVD when I first bought it. I thought it as not challenging enough, too beginner. Times have changed in the 3-4 years since then. How naive and arrogant I was. I started using this DVD routinely 2 summers ago as a way for my room-mate and I to start our hectic camp days. It was refreshing, and the perfect stretch as new runners. Now I find myself returning to it. Much like then, life is busy. The 20 minute practice is just the right commitment for me right now. What else would I do with that 20 minutes? Find a few more useless posts of pinterest? Today, as I work a month of way too many night shifts, I commit to myself to do this DVD 5 times a week. To regroup. To pray. To spend time in silence. Most of all, to continue on the track of doing the things I love again.

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