The Truth and Starting Over.

Today I begin something which provokes a lot of insecurity, and anxiety. For the past few years I have been on a weight roller coaster. In the past 8 years, I have weighed anywhere from my smallest, 130 lbs, to my current, and highest weight of 195 lbs. I have tried weight watchers in the past, and it worked for me. Two years ago, I reached 155lbs. A great weight for me. I felt healthy, energized and good in my own skin. With the transition of graduating, starting a new job, getting married, I let my healthy lifestyle fall at the way-side. As a result, I have become the largest I have ever been, and largely unhealthy. As a nurse, I see the consequences of this type of lifestyle EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I have become a statistic of the ever-growing obesity epidemic. It is embrassing, and feels utterly terrible. In an effort to reclaim my healthy lifestyle, I joined weight watchers again after a year absent. I found the new program didn’t work for me. Not because it isn’t a good program, but I have huge PORTION control issues. The freedom to eat as much fruit as I wanted didn’t help these issues. Fruit, in essence is good for you, but not when you over eat. 

Anyways. Today, at 195 lbs. I am reclaiming myself. I am publicizing my weight as a way to accknowledge it, and move forward. No more crash diets of deprivation and bingeing. Logically I know this dosen’t work. I am smarter than this. At 5’6″, 195 pounds, I have a BMI of 31.5. Obese. 

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Me, at 195 pounds.

Today I will begin a life long journey of portion control. Today I am comitting to end this cycle. As a way of keeping myself accountable, I plan to do a weekly post about my struggles/ achievements and a weigh in. I don’t intend for my lifestyle change to take over the blog, but I intend to share this journey, in hopes that I will become accountable for my own actions.

I have used a simple online calculator to figure out a healthy weight loss for myself. As ‘lightly active’: someone who works a job which requires them to be on their feet a lot, and exercises a few times a week, a realistic calorie goal is 1500 calories per day, for a goal weight loss of 1.5 pounds each week. My goal weight is 145-150. This is the weight in which I have always felt the best.

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Me, on our honeymoon, at aprox. 155 pounds, the happiest I have ever been in my own skin.

I don’t aim to have a bikini-bod, or abs of steel. I mearly aim to have a healthy body. I want to have a body I can feel energized in, rather than one that weighs me down.

I will be keeping a food journal to help me keep track of my portions, and re-evaluate. I also aim to exercise 4-5 times a week. 4 of these days will be part of my half-marathon training schedule. The 5th will be a class or activity to simply enjoy.

I am open to suggestions, and feedback. Id love to hear your own struggles and victories in the healthy living struggle. I feel so lucky to have such supportive friends/family and now this little techy world whom I know will be supporting me every step of the way!

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5 thoughts on “The Truth and Starting Over.

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