Complacency

Com·pla·cen·cy

[kuhm-pley-suhn-see]  

noun, plural com·pla·cen·cies.

1.

a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unawareof some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation,condition, etc.
2.

Archaic .

a.

friendly civility; inclination to please; complaisance.
b.

a civil act.
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I have been recently going through a phase of complacency, or so I thought. If you had asked me to define ‘complacency’ before today, I probably would have phrased it as being ‘stuck in a rut’. Every definition I have found seems to word complacency as a pleasurable state. For me, I feel like the tires of my car are stuck in this slippery dent, and the more I spin and try and get out….the further stuck I become.
 
Don’t get me wrong. I have a wonderful life. I have been privileged to accomplish many things by the age of 22….but as I begin to think about my 23rd birthday, and what this next year has to come, I am stuck. 
 
I am not exactly sure what I am stuck on is the problem. I finished my degree quickly, I married young, I ran a marathon. My three biggest life goals are all crossed off, and for the first time in my life, I am not working TOWARDS anything. I am not growing, or sprouting. I am complacent. I have the job of my ‘dreams’ and the husband of my ‘dreams. Now what. 
 
As a nurse and shift worker, I work 12 days out of the month, and the rest I am finding to be long and lonely. My husband is busy working and going to school, and most of my friends are 9-5 er’s. So…I am forced to contemplate. Forced to reassess. Reevaluate. 
What’s next? Beats me. 
Hopefully I figure it out soon. I think I am starting to understand the whole ‘hobbie’ business.
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Fall Fades

Fall Fades. Yesterday we had our first snowfall in Saskatoon. Thankfully, it melted away. I can’t believe exactly two weeks ago I posted that I needed to take time to enjoy fall, and before I even got back for another post it is gone! =( Before I know it, my favorite running season will be gone. And I have barely even broken into it! I have been struggling like MAD to find motivation to run these days. My mind needs it, my body needs it…..but for some reason I just can’t get myself out there! Anyways….Here’s to running the evening away today….

“Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it.” 
Oprah Winfrey

Coincidentally, I get a lot more out of life when I am running.

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